about
eudaemonia
.
1. Loving-Kindness (Metta)
The definition of loving-kindness is the heartfelt yearning that oneself and others might find
happiness and the causes of happiness. There is a tendency to conflate the desire for happiness
for others with self-centered attachment, where the other is an object for personal gratification.
One can enter into a self-centered relationship even with oneself, in the case of self-blame or self-
infatuation.
The test for discovering where we are on the attachment loving-kindness continuum is: when a
loved one behaves badly do we love him/her more or less?
• The illusory facsimile of loving-kindness is attachment (near enemy)
• The opposite is hatred (far enemy)
• The cause is seeing that others are just like ourselves in wanting to be happy
• Loving-kindness fails when it produces selfish affection
• Loving-kindness succeeds when it makes animosity subside
2. Compassion (Karuna)
This is the wish, the aspiration that others don’t suffer and don’t create causes for suffering. It also
includes the readiness and willingness to help relieve and diminish both. In the practice of
compassion we are cultivating altruism as a deeply ingrained framework that predisposes us to act
to help others. This is highly correlated with happiness and emotional balance (Wallace & Shapiro,
2006). Heroes often say “I had no choice” after an act of selfless altruism. This kind of fundamental
framework or attitude is crucial in being able to resist the compelling nature of difficult emotions.
• The illusory facsimile of compassion is grief (near enemy)
• The opposite is cruelty (far enemy)
• The cause of compassion is recognizing and caring about the pain of those overwhelmed by
suffering
• Compassion fails when it produces depression and helplessness
• Compassion succeeds when it makes cruelty subside
3. Sympathetic Joy (Mudita)
Sympathetic joy is the state of rejoicing in seeing others experience good fortune. It is a heartfelt
and uplifting sense of joy at the presence of virtue and goodness in the world.
• The illusory facsimile of sympathetic joy is frivolous cheerfulness (the near enemy is the
Pollyanna syndrome, a superficial kind of positive thinking)
• The opposite is envy & cynicism (far enemy)
• The cause is seeing others flourish and recognizing their happiness
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