just continue this process of noticing from breath to breath how it feels. . . .
Are you still with me, or did your attention already fly away and alight on some other thing? No
matter, if this has happened and you still want to remain with this little exercise, just make the
briefest of mental notes about what just distracted you and return to the sensations of the breath.
Should you be like almost everyone else, you may have already noticed that your attention
quickly shifts and wavers, and that it is not very long before you are once again someplace very
different from the spot where you are in close contact with your vital process of breathing. The
distractions may happen somewhere in the middle of the first breath, or – if you have especially
good powers of concentration – it may take 3 or 4 breaths before you find your attention
somewhere else.
Maybe you notice some frustration bubbling up as you repeatedly try to redirect your attention
back to the breath, only to find the mind wandering away once again before you can even
complete the next breath. Maybe the thought arises, I am lousy at this, or this is a really stupid
exercise; what nonsense to watch my breathing anyhow; it’s done fine without me all these
years. Or maybe you find yourself capable of following the physical sensations of the breath
rather continuously for a little while only to feel that the breath is actually quite uncomfortable –
too tight, too short, too irregular, too this or too that. On the other hand, maybe you can follow
the breath for a while and feel a deep sense of relaxation and the desire to hold on to it because
it feels so good, only once again for the mind unexpectedly to wander someplace else or the
positive feeling to somehow dissolve or transform into some less comfortable perception, like
discomfort, tedium or boredom.
Now humor this writer for a few minutes longer and continue this exercise – as best you can. But
this time, allow yourself (also merely as well as you can) to let even any unpleasant distractions,
thoughts and feelings just be – as the natural states of the mind and the body that sometimes
arise – since they are, anyhow, there, whether we like them or not. Whatever is going on in the
moment, gently retain awareness of each instant of your breathing as best you can, and bring the
mind back to the breath each time you notice it straying. Realize that at this very moment,
whatever you are feeling, perceiving or thinking, it is as good as it gets: you can’t change what
has already happened. It may be more pleasant than the previous moment, it may be less
pleasant, but right now we are sitting with what is. We can either investigate it, examine it from all
sides, try to penetrate the inner substance of our breathing experience by being open, patient
and tolerant with it (to whatever degree that is possible for us in this particular moment), or we
can turn away from the experience, attempt to flee it, by escaping into other perceptions, images,
thoughts of past, present or future that obscure or camouflage the immediate experience of our
breathing.
So, provided you still are willing, try for just a little while longer to stay closely in contact with each
moment of your breathing by applying whatever amount of patience, kindness, tolerance and
generosity you currently have at your disposal, aiming your attention at whatever surfaces during
the process – attempting to apply kindness and patience to the wandering mind, tolerance and
openness to any discomfort, boredom or withdrawal from calm, relaxing sensations. And notice if
the quality of your paying attention to the breath changes in any way – even whether for the
briefest moments you might be able to let go of the impatience, judgments and self-criticism that
arise during this “simple” mind-body experiment of attending to the sensations of the breath. . . .
Perhaps you become aware of a few fleeting moments in which your powers of concentration,
attention and investigation are in harmony with a state of ease and receptiveness. Or perhaps,
you only are aware of an increasingly seething impatience with this little exercise. But even in the
latter case, maybe it is possible for you just to let this discomfort go for a moment or two, and to
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