• Exhausting
– We’re struggling less, not more.
• Selfish
– It’s the first step towards compassion for others.
• Unnatural
– We’re all born with the wish to be happy and free from suffering. Self-compassion
reminds us of that original desire and helps us to live in accordance with it.
Classroom exercises, either involving interaction between group members or individual reflection
and meditation, anchor lecture topics in direct, personal experience. The following exercise is
taught in session 1 to illustrate the three key components of self-compassion (described earlier in
this chapter):
Self-Compassion Break
Bring to mind an experience you’ve had that makes you feel badly, but only
moderately
badly so
that you can feel the stress in your body without becoming overwhelmed by it. Visualize the
situation until it makes you feel a little uncomfortable.
Now, say to yourself:
• This is a moment of suffering (mindfulness)
• Suffering is a part of life (common humanity)
Now put your hands over your heart, feel the warmth of your hands, the gentle pressure of your
hands, and notice your chest rhythmically rising and falling beneath your hands as you breathe.
Say to yourself:
• May I be kind to myself in this moment (self-kindness)
• May I give myself the compassion I need
For the last one or two phrases, use whatever words speak to your particular situation, such as:
•
May I be strong
•
May I be safe
•
May I forgive myself
•
May I accept the circumstances of my life
•
May we learn to live together in peace
All exercises are followed by guided discussion. After the self-compassion break, for example,
group members are asked what they experienced during the exercise. Most report that they felt a
little “letting go” as each successive element of self-compassion was introduced.
Participants are encouraged to use the Self-Compassion Break during the following week, and to
complete a home practice assignment for Session 1 – Self-Compassionate Language. In that
assignment, participants note what types of things they typically judge themselves for (i.e., job
performance, overeating), what they say to themselves when they notice a flaw or mistake (“You’re
stupid!” “You’re lazy!”), and reframe the language to be kinder, more supportive and understanding,
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