Compassion - Bridging Practice and Science - page 299

maintenance of high self-esteem is more dependent on positive self-evaluations, and therefore
may lead to cognitive distortions in order to preserve positive self-views[23].
In a survey involving a large community sample in the Netherlands, self-compassion was shown to
be a stronger predictor of healthy functioning than self-esteem [22]. Self-compassion was
associated with more stability in state feelings of self-worth over an eight-month period (assessed
12 different times) than trait self-esteem. This may be related to the fact that self-compassion was
also found to be less contingent on things like physical attractiveness or successful performances
than self-esteem. Results indicated that self-compassion was associated with lower levels of social
comparison, public self-consciousness, self-rumination, anger and need for cognitive closure than
self-esteem. Also, self-esteem had a robust association with narcissism while self-compassion had
no association with narcissism. These findings suggest that, in contrast to those with high self-
esteem, self-compassionate people are less focused on evaluating themselves, feeling superior to
others, worrying about whether or not others are evaluating them, defending their viewpoints or
angrily reacting against those who disagree with them. In sum, self-compassion is a healthier way
of feeling good about oneself than self-esteem that is based on the need to feel better than others.
Self-Compassion and Motivation
Many people think that they need to be self-critical to motivate themselves – that if they’re too self-
compassionate they’ll be complacent and lazy. Although constructive and supportive self-criticism
is certainly helpful (and is part of being kind to oneself), harsh and belittling self-criticism is not: it
tends to make people depressed and lose self-confidence [24]. Research shows that self-
compassion is linked to enhanced motivation to learn and grow. In a study of self-compassion and
learning goals, Neff, Hseih and Dejitthirat[25]found that compassion for the self was associated
with mastery rather than performance goals. Students with a mastery orientation towards learning
are intrinsically motivated by curiosity and the desire to learn new skills, and tend to view the
making of mistakes as a part of the learning process. Students with a performance orientation, on
the other hand, are extrinsically motivated to succeed as a means of defending or enhancing their
sense of self-worth, and tend to fear failure [26]. Neff et al.[25]demonstrated that self-compassion
is positively associated with mastery goals and negatively associated with performance goals, a
relationship that is mediated by the lesser fear of failure and greater perceived competence of self-
compassionate individuals (which is likely related to lessened self-criticism). They also examined
the reactions of students who had recently failed a midterm exam, and found that self-
compassionate individuals were more able to cope with and accept their failure as a learning
experience. Rather than being complacent and merely accepting the status quo, it appears that
self-compassion enables people to grow from their failures because they don’t interpret failure as
an indictment of their self-worth.
Self-compassion has no association with the level of performance standards adopted for the self,
but it is negatively related to maladaptive perfectionism[7].In other words, self-compassionate
people aim just as high as those who lack self-compassion, but don’t become as distressed and
frustrated when they can’t meet their goals. They are also more likely to pick themselves up and try
again after failing[27].Self-compassion has been found to promote health-related behaviors such
as sticking to one’s diet [28],quitting smoking[29]and starting a physical fitness regime[30]. Self-
compassionate people are motivated to make productive changes in their lives not because they
are unacceptable as they are, but because they care about themselves and want to be happy and
healthy.
Self-compassionate people are also more likely to take responsibility for past mistakes and to
apologize when they have hurt someone[9],[31].For instance, a recent study by Breines and
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