1) focus on self, 2) focus on a good friend, 3) focus on a neutral person, 4) focus on a difficult
person, 5) focus on the self, good friend, neutral person and difficult person, and, eventually, 6)
focus on the entire universe.
Six-Step Process
For actually cultivating compassion, and following the theoretical framework presented above, the
following six steps to developing compassion will be discussed. This six-step process can be used
in every meditation session and also be applied outside of an actual meditation session:
1. Foundational step of equanimity: Realizing that everyone wants happiness and does not want
suffering
2. Meditating on everyone as close, using your best friend, or mother, as the model
3. Reflecting on the kindness of individuals, intended and unintended
4. Developing a determination to reciprocate kindness
5. Meditating on three levels of loving-kindness (friend, neutral, enemy)
6. Overview of the three levels of compassion, as well as enhancement by wisdom: compassion
towards three levels of suffering, compassion towards impermanence and insubstantiality,
compassion seeing empty beings
1.
As mentioned, the initial step is developing equanimity. Compassion begins with the realization
that every being, be they human or animal, wants happiness and does not want suffering. It is
striking to hear His Holiness the Dalai Lama, who is respected all over the world as the
embodiment of compassion and wisdom, say that his basic attitude when engaging with anybody
is: “Everybody is my friend; I approach them as my friend, because I understand that they want
happiness”. There is a fundamental and radical truth in this. When we think about it, there is
nobody that gets up in the morning and wishes: “Today, I’m really going to have a miserable day”.
In this sense we are all the same, regardless of race, nationality, gender, religious belief or
educational background. Focusing on this similarity, which all beings have with you, and you with
them, will be a solid foundation for compassion.
2.
After that you then gradually meditate on beings that you feel close to. You can use your best
friend or your mother. Although many people in the West find this too challenging, in the Tibetan
context the mother is considered the embodiment of kindness and compassion. So depending on
your relationship with family members it may be better to start with your best friend and then use
that feeling as the model. Consider and experience how you wish for that being to be happy and
free of suffering.
3.
Next reflect on the kindness of these individuals. Their kindness may be intended, but maybe not.
Gradually expand that sense of gratitude to other people that have been kind to you, but with
whom you are less familiar: somebody who has provided you with food; a bus driver who has
waited and opened the door for you; somebody who helped you lift your heavy luggage. You may
not have realized it at the time, but these are acts of kindness.
4.
After this reflection on kindness, you begin to see that many have contributed to your well-being
and given you moments of happiness. You then develop gratitude and a wish to reciprocate
486
