you want happiness and want to be free of misery. In this way they are the same. But now think:
the selfish person to the right is only one person, but the people to the left are many more – which
side is more important? The selfish me or the helpless many? As the unbiased person in the
middle, you will naturally favor the greater number of suffering people.
By repeatedly going through these three foundational practices, together with other methods for
developing the mind (such as
Śamatha
and
Vipaśyanā
), compassion, mental balance and a
stronger and happier heart for your daily activities will develop.
How to Act and to Lead One’s Conduct
Following these sheltered meditation practices we encounter the genuine test: how do we engage
in the so-called real and busy world? After all, this is where we spend most of our conscious time.
It is here where we encounter infinite distractions, triggers for attachment and aversion, where we
meet people to whom we feel attracted, neutral towards, or we dislike, and meet all the other
myriad challenges.
To protect us against those interferences and lead a more fulfilling life, the Mahayana Buddhist
tradition teaches six behavioral principles. They are summed up in the six perfections and
constitute advice on how to guide one’s conduct in everyday life. These six perfections, or
paramitas, are: generosity, discipline, patience, effort, concentration and wisdom (see
in
this volume). They are called perfections because by properly engaging in these activities, one’s
mind becomes clearer, the causes of disturbances are diminished and one is able to perfect one’s
potential for well-being. These activities are to be applied step by step and according to one’s
capabilities. They comprise the heart of the Mahayana Buddhist practice and are considered the
foundation of a meaningful and happy life. Because of the immense importance of engaging in
proper conduct, the main inspiration and guide for developing compassion within the Tibetan
Buddhist tradition, Shantideva’s Engaging in the Conduct of a Bodhisattva, is structured along
these six perfections.
Developing compassion is obviously not something that can be done once and then we have
learned it, and it will stay present within our minds. We need to mindfully recollect and actively
develop it over and over again. This is also why the stages and marks of compassion development
need to be repeatedly heard, studied and contemplated. Only then will we be able to develop a
mindset that is based on wisdom and compassion, and engage in corresponding conduct. If, in the
middle of our normal life, often filled with mindless activities, we can remember compassion, it will
give us a sense of serenity and will, at the same time, be a cause of less suffering and a source of
more mental balance.
To quote His Holiness the Dalai Lama, “Compassion diminishes fears about your own pain and
increases your inner strength. Compassion strengthens your outlook, and with that courage you
become more relaxed. Compassion is a priceless jewel”.
Compassion is not about being soft and weak, nor is it about giving in and just accepting when
others are acting wrongly, or when they are taking advantage of you or somebody else. It is
important to act and, when necessary, even strongly, but always with compassion and respect.
However, if compassion is not complemented with a faculty of intelligence, or insight, then there is
a danger of compassion turning into foolish states. Although it is not easy to react adequately when
somebody is mean or nasty, it is very important to respond to the circumstance with a clear head
and a compassionate heart. Anger, the normal response mechanism to injustice or threat, will only
create more difficulties. The Dalai Lama often says, “If you are selfish, be wisely selfish”. Ordinary
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