undermines our inner peace. It deprives us of our clarity. We lose the panoramic view. Hence,
decision making becomes clouded and takes on a narrow scope. Anger hinders our empathic
nature, which is the source of our greatest happiness. If fact, it would be fair to say that all the
violence and destruction in the world is the result of aggression based in anger and hatred. The
damaging consequences of anger and hatred can be seen clearly in domestic violence. These are
also the sources of communal violence and war. Anger often arises out of a deeper, inner
dissatisfaction. This latent state of a lack of contentment and irritability is called
mi dewa
in Tibetan.
It is a general underlying state of unease, setting a tone, or as Dr. Paul Ekman (see also
in
this volume) would say, a mood that underlies flares of angry emotion. This discontent makes us
more susceptible to triggering destructive emotions, especially anger. Dissatisfaction in our life is
the fuel that sparks the fire of destructive emotions such as anger, hostility and hatred. Therefore,
just as recognizing sparks before the fire can prevent the fire, similarly recognizing an underlying
mood of discontent can control the expression of anger. When we start to see things from this new
perspective, we begin to recognize that these destructive emotions feed upon themselves. The
more they are indulged, the more they intensify. To address such self-perpetuating destructive
emotions, it is helpful to turn our attention inward. We become more familiar with our tendencies
and habits. Instead of blaming others and the world, we become more mature and work on
ourselves. The great eighth-century Buddhist master Shantideva[2] makes this point exceedingly
well when discussing how to manage anger. If we wish to prevent our feet from being pricked by
thorns, it would be foolish to try covering the whole world with leather. Rather, it would be much
more reasonable to just cover the soles of our feet. In the same way, it is a mistake to think we will
get rid of anger by changing everything and everyone around us. Instead it would be much better to
change ourselves.
Compassion as a way of life naturally condemns wrong actions and opposes them with all the
means necessary, while at the same time, maintaining respect for the person who engaged in the
harmful actions. Forgiveness does not mean ignoring or forgetting. Instead, it is a way of dealing
with wrongdoing that brings peace of mind. At the same time it prevents us from succumbing to the
harmful impulses of revenge. By distinguishing the deed from the person performing the deed and
by understanding the situation in its entirety, we come to the conclusion that the person who
harmed also deserves our compassion. Severe, painful consequences of his harmful actions await
him in the future. Practicing patience and forgiveness is enormously liberating for us. I remember
my feelings when hearing the story of the Irish boy, Richard Moore. When we dwell on the harm
someone has done to us, we become angry and resentful. Clinging to painful memories and
harboring ill will cannot reverse the wrongs done to us. Such an approach does not help. On the
contrary. Our peace of mind is disturbed and we do not sleep well. Our immune system weakens
and eventually our physical health declines (see also
and
. We develop
more heart problems and suffer more accidents. If, on the other hand, we are able to overcome
our feelings of hostility towards those who harm us and forgive them, there is immediate and
perceptible benefit. We breathe easier and become more relaxed, with blossoming inner peace and
confidence. This is my experience. It feels like a heavy weight has been lifted from my shoulders.
My body feels lighter, and the whole world looks brighter. I have the feeling that I can now move on
and get on with my life.
Perseverance
Perseverance is not giving up, even in the face of adversity. It is not allowing our tendencies
towards laziness and procrastination to control our lives. A new courage that confidently says, “I
can do it” is nurtured. With this confidence, comes a new sense of meaning and purpose. It is not
just continuing our efforts out of boredom and drudgery. Rather, there is an enthusiasm born from
understanding the long-term benefits of not giving up when doing good things. We gain a sense of
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